We’re sorry to have to break the news to you, Baby Boomers. These, on the other hand, were never particularly impressive. It’s possible that you’re frustrated and angry. It’s perfectly acceptable. Just keep in mind that even if you disagree, you’re still wrong. We’ll (mostly) ignore the major issues today and focus on the more common blunders that plague every generation after the baby boomers. Baby boomers, let’s look at where your generation went wrong and why those decisions don’t hold up in today’s world.
Cursive
Cursive writing isn’t beneficial. It may appear appealing, but it is a time-wasting waste of time. There must be a better way to spend your time than practicing your Ps and Qs. But you can’t deny that if it hadn’t been for cursive, we might not have been able to sign our own names.
Cursive
China Plates
What’s the point of having super-expensive plates if you’re not going to use them? They exist solely to take up space. Another unflattering observation is that they are not particularly attractive. Another item that you almost don’t notice you have is fine china. That is until it is shattered.
China Plates
24-Hours News Networks
There are barely enough truly newsworthy events in the world every day to fill an hour of programming, let alone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can bet that those 24-hour news outlets heavily rely on sensationalism and scare tactics.
24 Hours News Networks
Diamonds
Diamonds are said to be a girl’s best friend, but they are actually costly stones purchased with the blood of modern-day African slaves. Cubic zirconia is a less expensive option with a wider color spectrum. However, don’t expect to use cubic zirconia without some teasing!
Diamonds
Patterned Wallpaper
Patterned wallpaper is an abomination that can be found in any room. Wallpaper with patterns is too busy and, in some cases, tacky. Select a suitable paint color. That means you’ll be able to use it effectively. Smoothing out all those bumps and ridges in the paper isn’t worth the effort!
Patterned Wallpaper
Unpaid Internships
“I’m paying you in experience!” exclaims the narrator. Patrick, it’s a shame your skills aren’t paying the bills. I respect your decision to apply for an unpaid internship right away if you are a firm believer in them.
Unpaid Internships
Crocs
Crocs were first introduced as boating shoes in 2002 and quickly gained popularity in the United States. Other than boaters, these repulsive shoes were trendy. They are indeed simple to put on. However, they do not appear to be attractive. They appear to be ridiculous.
Crocs
Blaming Millennials Every Time
They call you “snowflakes,” “whiny,” and “can’t take a joke” because they dislike you. However, avoid blaming yourself as much as possible. The Millenials are, without a doubt, to blame.
Blaming Millennials Every Time
Home Shopping Channels
Shopping channel networks are nothing more than a ruse for selling low-cost, ineffective items you don’t require. Why waste time watching TV when there are so many other ways to get useless information nowadays? Buy your low-cost products directly from China and avoid the QVC middleman!
Home Shopping Channels
High-Waisted Jeans
Do you like to dress up in high-waisted jeans? You may now leave, Boomer. Unless you’re super thin, high-waisted jeans aren’t going to flatter your figure. They’re going to draw shapes all over the place.
High Waisted Jeans
Writing Checks
Distributing these in the store essentially adds to the queue. Carrying a single small card rather than a large stack of checks is far more convenient. Plus, those perplexing personalized checks earn bonus points. Nothing says “pay for your colonoscopy” like a check with puppies and kittens all over it.
Writing Checks
Landlines
The phones that needed to be plugged into the wall were these. What’s the point of having a landline now that they’re almost free? Invest in a phone and use it frequently. We assure you that you will be fine without them.
Landlines
Fossil Fuels
It is a waste of time and resources to research and implement green, renewable energy. Why not simply deplete the ozone layer irreversibly while fighting oil wars? We are unable to use wind energy because it causes cancer in birds.
Fossil Fuels
The Mall
Shopping malls can be a source of anxiety. Why go when you can order everything you need from the comfort of your own home and have it delivered to your door? It’s a whole lot easier. If you’ve ever seen the glum expressions on the faces of husbands who don’t want to be included, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. We don’t want grumpy customers to ruin our shopping experience.
The Mall
Khaki Capri Pants
These aren’t exactly enticing. Capris are unusual enough as it is, so adding khaki to the mix is a disaster waiting to happen. We’re baffled as to how anyone could find this appealing!
Khaki Capri Pants
Denim
Please don’t get us wrong: we love denim. However, as with all good things, moderation is required. We don’t care if you’re Levi Strauss’s great-great-grandson; wearing denim from head to toe isn’t as trendy as you think.
Denim
Jell-O Everything
Jell-O is delicious on its own, but it becomes revolting when mixed with ham, cheese, tuna, and whatever else comes to mind. We’re not sure what happened in the 1970s to convince people that everything had to be suspended in gelatin, but it doesn’t have to be. And it’s past time to put this revolting chapter behind us.
Jell O Everything
Encyclopedias
Most likely obtained from door-to-door salespeople, a set of encyclopedias is a must-have in any baby boomer home. Finally, with the rise of Google, encyclopedias have become obsolete, and keeping them in your home appears out of date and wasteful.
Encyclopedias
Socks And Sandals
We’ll never understand why Baby Boomers think tall white socks and sandals are trendy. In case you didn’t know, sandals are designed to eliminate the need for socks. Bring everything to a screeching halt. You’re a total moron. If you’re wearing socks because your bare feet look scary, skip the sandals in favor of a nice, conservative shoe.
Socks And Sandals
Phone Books
Nowadays, almost everyone thinks this is a waste of paper. If you need to contact someone, you can probably find their phone number online or text them on Facebook. But where would you look these days for a phone book?
Phone Books
Shag Carpets
A shag carpet is the epitome of “I’m still in the 1960s.” Shag carpet was a huge blunder; it never looked good and felt strange underfoot. Future generations, I believe, will be delighted to carry on this tradition. Let’s not even get started on keeping it clean. You could instead hire a groomer.
Shag Carpets
Visors
Here’s another thing that appears to be extremely stupid. Purchase a hat to keep the sun off of your face. There are plenty of good ones! On the other hand, if you appear to be balding, a visor will always reveal your secret…
Visors
Fuzzy Toilet Seat Covers
These objects appear filthy, much like the bacteria they collect. They also have an unpleasant odor. Everyone wants a luxurious bathroom experience, but shag carpeting on one’s butt, isn’t it.
Fuzzy Toilet Seat Covers
Records
Tapes and record players are now available in stores such as Target and Walmart, and they are making a big comeback with today’s youth. Even if it’s a little out of date and impractical, we’ll give it to the baby boomers. These were incredible.
Records
Not-So-Skinny Jeans
Baby boomers despise skinny jeans for some reason. They prefer flared and bootcut jeans because they are more comfortable, and “everything comes back into style at some point.” Skinny jeans should have become fashionable by now, according to that logic. They aren’t exactly revolutionary or novel at this point.
Not So Skinny Jeans
Ironing
Your clothes will wrinkle from time to time. There are, however, alternatives to wasting time ironing. If it’s too much trouble, take it to the cleaners and leave it there. If it’s not too bad, dress it wrinkled. No one gives a damn, in the literal sense.
Ironing
Bar Soap
Bar soap is filthy and difficult to use when compared to liquid soap. We’re all aware that slipping the soap in the shower can cause a slew of issues, particularly for Baby Boomers with weak knees and hips. If you must use bar soap, purchase a waterproof life alert. Alternately, use gel soap and call it a day.
Bar Soap
Meatloaf
If you’re a baby boomer, you probably grew up eating meatloaf. Yes, some people continue to eat it, but the vast majority avoid it. Not to mention the fact that it appears to be revolting. So we’re not sure what the point of smothering everything in ketchup is; it just makes everything look a lot more unappealing than it was before.
Meatloaf
Patterned Vests
Vests have never been attractive. Patterned vests are absolutely revolting. Vests haven’t been very appealing. Patterned vests are extremely repulsive. We won’t judge people based on their clothing choices because it’s ridiculous, but patterned vests will be overlooked.
Patterned Vests
Cop Dramas
Some of these legends are clearly absurd and exaggerated to the point of absurdity. Furthermore, there are so many of them that they begin to blend. At this point, there are approximately 20 laws and orders and at least as many CSIs. We must have reached the pinnacle of criminal justice by now.
Cop Dramas
Alex Jones
This man isn’t well-known, in case that wasn’t clear. If you can’t back up your ridiculous claims that water makes frogs gay with evidence, you’re probably mistaken. If talking about gay toads is among the least insane things you’ve ever said, you’re a complete psychopath.
Alex Jones
Mrs. Dash
Isn’t there an infinite number of condiments out there? Make your dishes a little more interesting by using something other than Mrs. Dash. You’ll be glad you made an effort. At the very least, experiment with a variety of premade seasoning blends. Mrs. Dash should get to know Tony Chachere.
Mrs. Dash
Political Correctness
Individuals who are different from us must be treated with the dignity and respect that every human being is entitled to! What exactly is this liberal millennial nonsense? It’s not that political correctness isn’t annoying; it’s just that your definition of it is wrong.
Political Correctness
Linoleum Flooring
Linoleum floors may have looked nice for a while, but they warp and fade over time. Even at its best, linoleum was nothing more than a thin sheet of plastic covering your floors. Linoleum floors, like many other Baby Boomer fads, did not last long. Install a wood or tile floor.
Linoleum Flooring
Conspiracy Theories
Please repeat after me: The National Enquirer is riddled with lies and conspiracies. Alex Jones and Fox News are both in the same boat. But who am I to speak on my own behalf? I’ve never had to use colloidal silver, and I’m not worried about using 5G.
Conspiracy Theories
Avon
Instead of buying the best Sephora makeup or even nicer affordable drugstore makeup, let’s spend double or triple on pyramid scheme makeup. Also, please don’t invite me to any of your social gatherings! I’m not interested in what you’re offering!
Avon
Gendered Everything
It’s time for a controversial viewpoint! Colors are not gendered. Girls and boys are free to do and enjoy whatever they want as long as they are safe and content. Gender stereotyping is sexist, and it’s past time for us to move on. At the very least, new gender-specific colors will be required. Pinks and blues with sickeningly sweet undertones are a no-no.
Gendered Everything
Golf
The world’s most boring sport, complete with ridiculous outfits, back pain, and the sole purpose of demonstrating social status? Thank you for your thought, but no. We’ll be just fine. Golf is a difficult sport to play and even more difficult to observe. We have no idea how this company stays in business.
Golf
Many Throw Pillows
You have plenty of throw pillows if someone’s visitors are drowning in them. However, if you have pillow fights regularly, a couple should be enough for most people. You’ve gone too far if your seating is more pillowy than the couch.
Many Throw Pillows
Giving Retail Workers A Tough Time
Please, I’m not even going to try to make this one. It’s pointless to yell at store employees because your voucher has expired or you believe the item is too expensive. Be mature in your actions. They, too, are human beings. In practice, being a jackass is a stupid way to get what you want, even if you don’t care about other people’s feelings.
Giving Retail Workers A Tough Timebaby boomer businesses for sale
Tuning into ‘I Love Lucy’
On the television show “I Love Lucy,” Lucille Ball captivated audiences as Lucy Ricardo, a middle-class homemaker prone to amusing antics and endearingly messy circumstances from 1951 to 1957. The Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show, also known as The Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show, aired 13 one-hour specials from 1957 to 1960. (and later The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour, in reruns).
Tuning In To ‘I Love Lucy’
Witnessing The ‘Miracle On Ice’
Seeing the “Miracle on Ice” in person as an adult is incomparable to seeing it in the 2004 Disney film Miracle. On February 22, 1980, the United States hockey team defeated the Soviet Union in the 1980 Winter Olympics semifinals in Lake Placid, accomplishing the seemingly impossible.
Witnessing The ‘Miracle On Ice’
Marveling At Electronic Calculators
Since then, how far has the situation progressed? Even though there was a clear (and functional) distinction between traditional calculating instruments such as slide rules and handhelds, many people believed that electronic ones would outperform the slide rule.
Marveling At Electronic Calculators
Playing With A Howdy Doody Doll
The Howdy Doody puppet debuted on NBC’s Puppet Playhouse in 1947 and quickly won his own show, becoming a household name in the 1950s and beyond. Because of the character’s popularity, there was plenty of merchandise to choose from, including a named doll that you may or may not have enjoyed playing with.
Playing With A Howdy Doody Doll
Reader’s Digest
The big secret behind why baby boomers enjoy Reader’s Digest is its uncanny ability to expand one’s awareness. It’s been around for over a century for no apparent reason, but it’s widely assumed that they’re correct.
Reader’s Digest
Dialing A Rotary Phone
It took a long time to dial someone’s phone number back then, especially if it contained many nines or zeros. The majority of people born after the baby boomer generation have only vague memories of using a rotary phone. We’re willing to put money down on that one.
Dialing A Rotary Phone
Smoking On Airplanes
In many ways, air travel has evolved, but baby boomers recall how common it was to see people smoking on planes when they were younger. Only in the 1990s was smoking made illegal after it was discovered that it increased aircraft life by three to five times.
Smoking On Airplanes
Eating Swanson TV Dinners
These foods are still eaten today, but most people haven’t heard of them since the late 1800s. To enhance the flavor of the canned cornbread and potato casserole mix, they used fresh spices, Thanksgiving turkey, and frozen sweet potatoes.
Eating Swanson TV Dinners
Waiting For The Milkman
Approximately one-third of milk was still delivered to homes rather than markets in the 1960s. Purchasing milk was not always the most popular option for customers before that time. Food is currently delivered to only a small percentage of the population via these services.
Waiting For The Milkman
Seeing The TV Channels Sign Off
The use of these ending graphics by networks at such a “post-prime time” hour is “almost nonexistent,” as one commentator put it. To round off the evening, many people sang the National Anthem.
Seeing The TV Channels Sign Off